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CHRISTOPHER MOORE

“It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”

The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency back-up mistress of the great Bay Area night, and my mangahaired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since they're imprisoned in a bronze statue. Their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she's really busy with other stuff like Chet, who's getting bigger and smarter and thirstier by the minute.

Before you can say "OMG! WTF?" Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby and the entire crew to hunt big cat and save the city. And that's when the fun really begins. "

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Bite Me: A Love Story
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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.

Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.

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Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story
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From master of subversive humor Christopher Moore comes a quirky, irreverent novel of love, myth, metaphysics, outlaw biking, angst, and outrageous redemption.

As a boy, he was Samson Hunts Alone--until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love--in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid--and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam...and to seriously screw up his existence in the process.

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Coyote Blue
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Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals. Until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite me.

Trouble is, Nate's beginning to wonder if he hasn't spent just a little too much time in the sun. 'Cause no one else on his team saw a thing -- not his longtime partner, Clay Demodocus; not their saucy young research assistant; not even the spliff-puffing white-boy Rastaman Kona (ne Preston Applebaum). But later, when a roll of film returns from the lab missing the crucial tail shot -- and his research facility is trashed -- Nate realizes something very fishy indeed is going on.

By turns witty, irreverent, fascinating, puzzling, and surprising, Fluke is Christopher Moore at his outrageous best.

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Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings
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Being undead sucks. Literally.

Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues.

But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue.

And that really sucks.

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You Suck: A Love Story
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In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "roads" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. Behind the fake Tudor facade of Pine Cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy traveling companion. The winos, neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, meanwhile, have other ideas. And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose.

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Practical Demonkeeping
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Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise--a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

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Island of the Sequined Love Nun
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The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally--well, to be accurate, artificially--business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.

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The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
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'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit.

But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. But Josh is sure that he saw Santa take a shovel to the head, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, Santa, come back from the dead.

But hold on There's an angel waiting in the wings. (Wings, get it?) It's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Unfortunately, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, and before you can say "Kris Kringle," he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.

Move over, Charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time.

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The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror, Version 2.0
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Hundreds of thousands of people around the world have read--and reread--Christopher Moore's irreverent, iconoclastic, and divinely funny tale of the early life of Jesus Christ as witnessed by his boyhood pal Levi bar Alphaeus (a.k.a. Biff). Now, in this special (check out the cool red ribbon marker, gilt-edged pages, and gold lettering) gift edition of Christopher Moore's bestselling Lamb, you, too, can find out what really happened between the manger and the Sermon on the Mount. And, in a new afterword written expressly for this edition, Christopher Moore addresses some of the most frequently asked questions he's received from readers since Lamb's initial publication, about the book and himself.

Fresh, funny, poignant, and wise, this special gift edition of Lamb is cause for rejoicing among readers everywhere.

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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
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"Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of that word."
--Carl Hiassen

" Moore's novels] deftly blend surreal, occult, and even science-fiction doings with laugh-out-loud satire of contemporary culture."
--Washington Post

"If there's a funnier writer out there, step forward."
--Playboy

Absolutely nothing is sacred to Christopher Moore. The phenomenally popular, New York Times bestselling satirist whom the Atlanta Journal-Constitution calls, "Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination" has already lampooned Shakespeare, San Francisco vampires, marine biologists, Death...even Jesus Christ and Santa Claus Now, in his latest masterpiece, Sacre Bleu, the immortal Moore takes on the Great French Masters. A magnificent "Comedy d'Art" from the author of Lamb, Fool, and Bite Me, Moore's Sacre Bleu is part mystery, part history (sort of), part love story, and wholly hilarious as it follows a young baker-painter as he joins the dapper Henri Toulouse-Lautrec on a quest to unravel the mystery behind the supposed "suicide" of Vincent van Gogh.

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Sacre Bleu: A Comedy D'Art
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"Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of that word."
--Carl Hiassen

" Moore's novels] deftly blend surreal, occult, and even science-fiction doings with laugh-out-loud satire of contemporary culture."
--Washington Post

"If there's a funnier writer out there, step forward."
--Playboy

Absolutely nothing is sacred to Christopher Moore. The phenomenally popular, New York Times bestselling satirist whom the Atlanta Journal-Constitution calls, "Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination" has already lampooned Shakespeare, San Francisco vampires, marine biologists, Death...even Jesus Christ and Santa Claus Now, in his latest masterpiece, Sacre Bleu, the immortal Moore takes on the Great French Masters. A magnificent "Comedy d'Art" from the author of Lamb, Fool, and Bite Me, Moore's Sacre Bleu is part mystery, part history (sort of), part love story, and wholly hilarious as it follows a young baker-painter as he joins the dapper Henri Toulouse-Lautrec on a quest to unravel the mystery behind the supposed "suicide" of Vincent van Gogh.

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Sacre Bleu: A Comedy D'Art
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Outrageously funny New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore and award-winning screenwriter-director Ian Corson team up for a wacky and entertaining graphic tale of alien invasion and a motley crew of Earthlings trying to stay alive and, oh, yeah, save humankind.

The mayhem begins when an ancient alien beacon is unwittingly activated, summoning behemoth spaceships from the far reaches of the galaxy. Hovering in Earth s atmosphere, they release a biblical stream of pods that transform into minivan-size, people-eating, flying lizardy things that look like mythological griffins. Destroying communications, emergency, and military infrastructure, they systematically kill everyone on the planet. Well, almost everyone.

A pesky trio of New Yorkers isn t about to roll out the red carpet or roll over and die for these unwelcome intergalactic marauders. Unlikely heroes Mo, a snarky, Gothy game-goddess; Steve, a skateboard-punk schwag whore; and Curt, the obligatory buff commando expert in weaponry (and a genius with cosmetics), are going to take it to the aliens and Florida is where the fight is. Armed with M-16s, a BFG (big f**king gun), and a surplus of guts, they ll battle their way from the Big Apple to Orlando, where a downed spacecraft is the most awesome new attraction.

And in the Sunshine State another pair of courageous (and pretty damn lucky) humans who have outwitted the toothy uberlizards await: Liz, a babelicious killer whale trainer at Ocean World, and Oscar, a chain-smoking middle-aged professional squirrel (seriously he s paid to wear that squirrel costume).

Once united, the intrepid warriors will attempt to infiltrate the alien spacecraft, defeat the spacer invaders, and save (what s left) of the world and, if Steve plays his cards right, begin the fun of repopulating Earth all over again. "

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The Griff: A Graphic Novel
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"Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of that word."
--Carl Hiassen

" Moore's novels] deftly blend surreal, occult, and even science-fiction doings with laugh-out-loud satire of contemporary culture."
--Washington Post

"If there's a funnier writer out there, step forward."
--Playboy

Absolutely nothing is sacred to Christopher Moore. The phenomenally popular, New York Times bestselling satirist whom the Atlanta Journal-Constitution calls, "Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination" has already lampooned Shakespeare, San Francisco vampires, marine biologists, Death...even Jesus Christ and Santa Claus Now, in his latest masterpiece, Sacre Bleu, the immortal Moore takes on the Great French Masters. A magnificent "Comedy d'Art" from the author of Lamb, Fool, and Bite Me, Moore's Sacre Bleu is part mystery, part history (sort of), part love story, and wholly hilarious as it follows a young baker-painter as he joins the dapper Henri Toulouse-Lautrec on a quest to unravel the mystery behind the supposed "suicide" of Vincent van Gogh.

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Sacre Bleu: A Comedy d'Art
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New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore channels William Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe in this satiric Venetian gothic featuring the irresistibly mischievous Pocket of Dog Snogging, the eponymous hero of Fool

Venice, a really long time ago. Three prominent Venetians await their most loathsome and foul dinner guest, the erstwhile envoy from Britain who also happens to be a favorite of the Doge: the rascal-Fool Pocket.

This trio of cunning plotters the merchant, Antonio; the senator, Montressor Brabantio; and the naval officer, Iago have lured Pocket to a dark dungeon, promising a spirited evening with a rare Amontillado sherry and a fetching young noblewoman. Their invitation is, of course, bogus. The wine is drugged; the girl is nowhere in sight. These scoundrels have something far less amusing planned for the man who has consistently foiled their quest for power and wealth. But this Fool is no fool . . . and the story is only beginning.

Once again, Christopher Moore delivers a rousing literary satire, a dramedy mash-up rich with delights, including (but not limited to): foul plots, counterplots, true love, jealousy, murder, betrayal, revenge, codpieces, three mysterious locked boxes, a boatload of gold, a pound of flesh, occasional debauchery, and water (lots of water). Not to mention a cast Shakespeare himself would be proud of: Shylock; Iago; Othello; a bunch of other guys whose names end in "o"; a trio of comely wenches Desdemona, Jessica, Portia; the brilliant Fool; his large sidekick, Drool; Jeff, the pet monkey; a lovesick sea serpent; and a ghost (yes, there's always a bloody ghost).

Wickedly witty and outrageously inventive, The Serpent of Venice pays cheeky homage to the Bard and illuminates the absurdity of the human condition as only Christopher Moore can.

"

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The Serpent of Venice
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The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiah's best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer).

Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Savior's pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But there's no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isn't about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.

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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
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Just 50,000 years ago, our hunter-gatherer ancestors ventured off the African savannah and into the wider world. Now, our technology reaches far out into the cosmos. How did we get to where we are today?
With lively text and colorful illustrations, From Then to Now explains how individual societies struggled to find their own paths, despite war, disease, slavery, natural disasters, and the relentless growth of human knowledge. From Hammurabi to Henry Ford, from Incan couriers to the Internet, from the Taj Mahal to the Eiffel Tower, from Marco Polo to Martin Luther King, from Cleopatra to Catherine the Great, from boiled haggis to fried tarantulas - this is no less than the story of humanity. It's the story of how we grew apart over all those years of migration and division, and how - as we recognize our common heritage and our often mixed ancestry - we can come together.
An index, maps, and notes make this a must-have reference, as well as a delight to read and to discuss. From Then to Now is bound to create a generation of history buffs
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From Then to Now: A Short History of the World
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