by Zoey Williams

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn the death of a dear friend…Macy Grant's ladybits.' –Concerned friend of Macy Grant

“I’ve been out of the game for so long I wonder if I still remember how to have good sex.

Is it like riding a bike, something I’ll never forget how to do?” –Macy Grant, modern spinster and vibrator afficionado

“To be honest, I haven’t seen her in years, but we were once inseparable.” –Macy Grant about her ladybits

Dating a guy with a beard is one thing. A guy who is a beard is quite another… Macy Grant hasn't sex in a long time. It's time for an intervention. Macy Grant is being set-up. She just doesn't know it… The workaholic, the beard and the problem with attraction!

It's been five years since event planner Macy Grant has dated. In fact, her only real relationship — outside of work — seems to be with her vibrator, Frank. Frustrated with Macy's spinstery ways, her friends stage an intervention in an attempt to rescue Macy's vagina from a life of boredom…

As Macy agonizes through her first — and worst — date in years, she can't help but notice the brawny, shaggy-haired artist sitting at the next table. Handsome. Sexy. With hands that are incredibly… uh, skilled. So when Macy runs into Jake [last name?] at a party, it's a definitely a sign from the Gods Who Want Her To Get Laid. And oh, she does.

Except that Jake didn't tell Macy that it's his engagement party. Or that he's a professional beard who's marrying a lesbian. Now Macy must decide whether she can walk away from the perfect guy… or if she'll risk being exposed as the other woman!